How To Be Effortlessly Charismatic

February 25, 2020

Attractive businesswoman doing a presentation
Emmanuel Feranmi

A lot of people use the word charisma when referring to effusive personalities. "I like his charisma, he has a lot of charisma, he doesn't have charisma whatsoever"— all these are words you often hear when people describe the influence of a person.

But what does charisma actually mean? Basically, it is a compelling charm or attractiveness that can inspire or influence devotion in other people.

This is such a simple explanation, but charisma is something that a lot of people fruitlessly search for all through their lives. In fact, the fruitlessness of these searches has made some become resigned to their fate. This kinds of people often say that you must be born charismatic. You either have it or you do not.

But I don't agree. Anyone can learn to be charismatic— you just have to be willing to learn.

And today, I'll be giving a few leads on how you can be more charismatic in daily life. This is because charisma isn't a destination, it's a journey. You don't become charismatic in one day— it is not a switch in your mind that you can flip on and off. Instead, you become charismatic by taking on new habits that take time and dedication to form.

Let's get started, shall we?

Charismatic people are easy to talk to

A charismatic person isn't shy to speak, but they are ever ready to listen as well. That's why people love them. They believe that hey, this person listens to me and asks loads of questions— that must mean that they get me. There's hardly a better way to make people like you than being really approachable. Asking loads of questions and being attentive when people speak will make you very relatable.

Gushing Instead Of Gossiping

When you gossip, you make it easier for people to pin bad attributes on you. For example, if you're often caught talking about how a certain person is wicked and sleazy, you make it easier for people to see those attributes in you.

Instead of gossiping, you need to practice gushing. If you must talk about people, then you need to practice saying good things about them. Then, you make it easier for people to attribute those good traits you speak about to you.

Learn How To Relate To People

We often fall into the trap of thinking that some people are boring, and some are just born full of energy. That's most definitely a lie.

No one is boring, and if you think someone is boring it is probably because you don't know them enough. Everyone has peculiarities and everyone is important. You must engage people with that premise planted firmly in your mind. Everyone has an incredible story, and all you have to do is ask and listen.

If You Can't Be At Your Best, Say No

Even the most social and most charismatic people have bad days. Days where they really don't want to talk to anyone and do not want to be in any gathering whatsoever.

If you wake up feeling irritable and not generally feeling your best, try not to engage with others. This is because it is almost impossible to hide your energy. If you're truly having a bad day, everyone else will notice, and there's nothing the fake smile on your face can do about it. They'll instinctively avoid you and leave you even more frustrated than others.

On bad days, try to avoid work if you can. If you can do your job remotely, that's even better. A computer, height-adjustable desk, a comfortable chair and stationery should help you create a workstation at home. That way, you don't lose valuable work hours and you don't jeopardise your reputation.

Be Likeable

Research has shown that there's a 1 in 2000 chance that you can be charismatic and unlikable. This shows that your great traits do not matter if people do not like you.

If you want to be charismatic, you have to be likeable. People who aren't likeable will not be able to inspire devotion in others, and the ability to inspire others is a big part of being charismatic.

Before people will willingly follow you, they need to have affection for you. They need to like you, at the very least. If you want to lead people successfully, you just make sure that they like you.

Bring People Together

A charismatic leader unites people, that's how he gets his followers. A big part of charisma is building social capital, and that involves knowing people and bringing them together.

If you know people who will get along well, try to introduce them. Try going after knowing people. Charismatic people have a lot of connections, and if you want to be charismatic as well you must also try to know a lot of people.

Infectious Optimism

Very few charismatic people are pessimists. Even if the ship around you is sinking, you must be that lone musician playing a melody in the chaos. You also need to continually encourage people. When someone comes to you with a goal or vision, you must try not to listen absentmindedly. You must cheer them and offer the best encouragement. Most people will hold you in high regard if you encourage them, and would do the opposite if you do not. 

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